Shame Hides in the Dark

One of the hardest things about getting sober is that eventually, you have to tell the truth.

For a long time, alcohol gave me somewhere to hide.

It helped me avoid the things I was ashamed of, the things I didn’t want to feel, and the parts of my life I wasn’t ready to face.

Then I quit drinking.

And suddenly, there was nowhere to hide.

Sobriety Has a Way of Making You Honest

When you drink, you get pretty good at making excuses—not just to other people, but to yourself.

Then you get sober and someone offers you a drink.

“No thanks.”

Sometimes that’s enough.

But sometimes they ask why. Or they keep pushing.

“Come on, just have one.”

And eventually you have a choice. You can come up with another excuse, or you can tell the truth:

I don’t drink anymore because I had a problem with alcohol.

That sentence can feel terrifying when you’ve spent years carrying shame around it.

What are they going to think of me?

Are they going to look at me differently?

Are they going to judge me?

But I’ve learned something over the last year and a half of sobriety:

The more honest I’ve become about my story, the less power that shame has over me.

The Things I Used to Hide Are Now Helping Other People

Recently, I reached out to a man named J. Anthony (founder of The Sober Sessions Facebook Page).

I first came across his writing after I was diagnosed with cirrhosis and made the decision to quit drinking cold turkey.

It was a scary and lonely time. I was trying to understand how my life had gotten to that point and what I was supposed to do next.

I started reading J. Anthony’s writing every day.

There were times when something he wrote seemed to speak directly to whatever I was wrestling with that day. Sometimes it honestly felt like Jesus had put those words in front of me because He knew I needed to hear them.

His writing gave me clarity. More importantly, it reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

Eventually, it helped inspire me to start putting my own story into words.

That story became my book, Something Only God Could Do.

So after a year and a half of reading his work, I finally reached out and told him what his words had meant to me.

I told him about the cirrhosis.

I told him about getting sober.

I told him how lost and alone I had felt.

I told him that his writing had played a part in inspiring me to share my own story.

And then something happened that really stuck with me.

He asked if he could share my email with his community.

My answer was yes.

Share all of it.

Shame Loses Its Power When You Bring It Into the Light

There was a time when I would have done just about anything to keep certain parts of my life hidden.

Now I’ve written a book about them.

The addiction. The mistakes. The health problems. The failures. The things I wish I had done differently.

And something unexpected has happened along the way.

The parts of my life I once felt the most ashamed of have become some of the very things that allow me to connect with other people.

Because when you tell the truth about what you’ve been through, someone else gets permission to tell the truth too.

Someone reads your story and thinks:

Maybe I’m not the only one.

Maybe somebody understands.

Maybe I’m not too far gone.

Maybe there’s still a way forward.

That’s exactly what someone else’s writing once did for me.

And now, maybe my story can do that for somebody else.

Never Be Afraid to Share Your Truth

You don’t have to tell your story to the whole world.

You don’t have to write a book.

You don’t owe every person you meet an explanation for why you don’t drink or what you’ve been through.

But I do believe there is freedom in no longer being ashamed of your own story.

I spent years trying to hide from mine.

Today, I can look at those same chapters of my life and see something different.

I see proof that people can change.

I see proof that God can use even the ugliest parts of our lives for something good.

And I see a story that might help another man who is sitting somewhere right now wondering if he has already screwed up his life beyond repair.

That’s why I keep sharing it.

Never be afraid to share your truth. You have no idea who might need to hear it.

If you’re struggling right now, you don’t have to have everything figured out today. But maybe you can start by being honest—with yourself, with God, or with someone you trust.

Sometimes telling the truth is where freedom begins.